"Stuck in automatic my mind is in a panic
Everything is frantic but I'm feeling so static
These thoughts unnerve me that nothing's what it should be
Slumber's all that I need but sleep keeps eluding me"
Why does sleep elude me? All I wanna do is sleep in peace without any thoughts or dreams, with no worries or bothersome thoughts. All I want is to sleep and forget my miseries and forget the pain that never seems to go away.
The sad little girl in me wants to drown in a heavenly slumber and never wanna wake up.
At least sleep for few hours!
Letting go is not easy! Sometimes!
Never can I understand why I have to let go in the first place, especially when something feels so right, when that something stirs the deepest parts of my soul.
Is it so wrong to have dreams? Is it so wrong to crave something so badly, that the thought of not having that makes me breathless and dizzy?
So many WHYs!
How can I hold on to faith at times like this, when for once I want something so-soul-stirringly badly and it eludes me?
When will I be picked? Is it my chance yet? Why am I always waiting?
I am tired of waiting. I am tired of the disappointments that life has thrown towards me one after another. I am tired of pretending to be strong enough. I am tired of making do with what I have. I am tired of this life!
I was once told that life gives you all that your heart desires, but after repeated attempts at keeping faith, I think its bull shit. Irrelevant of what you wish or dream, life gives you only what your destined. If your lucky its good else your screwed!
It wouldn't feel so bad if I didn't know how it felt to touch the aura of my dreams, then having it ripped out of me was pure cardinal misery!
Then why show it to me, within my arms reach, leading me to it and then shutting me out moments before I could make it mine and feel the bliss.
Quarter life crisis are not, this is definitely my worst phase of life!
I can feel parts of my soul disintegrating and dissolving into thin air and I am unable to do anything to help. It truly hurts most when you know your helpless.
Is this it? Will I always be the sad little girl who never gets picked for anything? Always waiting for her chance with hope that next would be me!
Will this pain ever go away without leaving any scars? Pain has become a part of me now, engraved itself on to my cells. Every breathe I take, I am reminded of the pain lurking inside, squeezing my soul out of me. Wish I can some control over it, wish I was immune. But I have just got the pain, the pain of waiting!
The pain has done its duties without fail. I don't recognize myself anymore and it hurts more because this is just the beginning. Guess Endurance is gonna me my new daily mantra!
Most of all, I Miss Me! thats what the pain has cost me, Myself!
Everything is frantic but I'm feeling so static
These thoughts unnerve me that nothing's what it should be
Slumber's all that I need but sleep keeps eluding me"
Why does sleep elude me? All I wanna do is sleep in peace without any thoughts or dreams, with no worries or bothersome thoughts. All I want is to sleep and forget my miseries and forget the pain that never seems to go away.
The sad little girl in me wants to drown in a heavenly slumber and never wanna wake up.
At least sleep for few hours!
Letting go is not easy! Sometimes!
Never can I understand why I have to let go in the first place, especially when something feels so right, when that something stirs the deepest parts of my soul.
Is it so wrong to have dreams? Is it so wrong to crave something so badly, that the thought of not having that makes me breathless and dizzy?
So many WHYs!
How can I hold on to faith at times like this, when for once I want something so-soul-stirringly badly and it eludes me?
When will I be picked? Is it my chance yet? Why am I always waiting?
I am tired of waiting. I am tired of the disappointments that life has thrown towards me one after another. I am tired of pretending to be strong enough. I am tired of making do with what I have. I am tired of this life!
I was once told that life gives you all that your heart desires, but after repeated attempts at keeping faith, I think its bull shit. Irrelevant of what you wish or dream, life gives you only what your destined. If your lucky its good else your screwed!
It wouldn't feel so bad if I didn't know how it felt to touch the aura of my dreams, then having it ripped out of me was pure cardinal misery!
Then why show it to me, within my arms reach, leading me to it and then shutting me out moments before I could make it mine and feel the bliss.
Quarter life crisis are not, this is definitely my worst phase of life!
I can feel parts of my soul disintegrating and dissolving into thin air and I am unable to do anything to help. It truly hurts most when you know your helpless.
Is this it? Will I always be the sad little girl who never gets picked for anything? Always waiting for her chance with hope that next would be me!
Will this pain ever go away without leaving any scars? Pain has become a part of me now, engraved itself on to my cells. Every breathe I take, I am reminded of the pain lurking inside, squeezing my soul out of me. Wish I can some control over it, wish I was immune. But I have just got the pain, the pain of waiting!
The pain has done its duties without fail. I don't recognize myself anymore and it hurts more because this is just the beginning. Guess Endurance is gonna me my new daily mantra!
Most of all, I Miss Me! thats what the pain has cost me, Myself!
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